Strait of Hormuz Is Closed and Oil Just Hit $90 — Welcome to Day 9 of the Market's Worst Nightmare

Let's just rip the bandaid off: oil is above $90 a barrel — up roughly 36% in a single week — the Strait of Hormuz is effectively closed (insurance carriers said 'absolutely not'), and Israel is reportedly committed to pursuing every successor of Iran's Supreme Leader. So, you know, totally chill Sunday vibes. Bloomberg's weekend coverage confirms Israeli strikes hit fuel storage complexes and oil depots in Tehran, triggering massive fires, while Iran claims it can sustain the war for months. Meanwhile, Trump held a press conference citing the destruction of Iran's navy, air force, and missile capacity in one week — which, if accurate, is either genuinely significant or the most aggressive PowerPoint presentation in military history.

On YouTube, TheChartGuys are flagging serious technical deterioration across SPY, QQQ, and IWM — with IWM showing the worst relative weakness, getting double-tapped by energy cost pressure AND evaporating rate-cut hopes. Gold, unsurprisingly, is looking constructive. Japan is already prepping national oil reserve releases, UAE and Kuwait are cutting production, and U.S. gas prices just crossed $3.45/gallon. Reddit's r/SecurityAnalysis is, characteristically, posting deep dives on Del Monte Foods and SaaS disruption — bless them for staying in their lane while the world is on fire.

Pope Leo is urging dialogue. Switzerland is calling it an international law violation. And somewhere, a small-cap fund manager is staring at IWM charts and reconsidering their life choices. The only certainty right now is that whoever shorted energy volatility two weeks ago is having a very, very quiet Sunday.